Tell me that I am crazy, okay?

I know it is crazy but I need to write out my feelings.It's been bottled up for a month or so.  I am going to admit this. But back in January and months before that...I was angry. Angry at my ward. Angry at the people who sit in the seats up front. It is my own fault. I wanted to serve but I felt that someone was thinking I was not good enough and that there was something wrong with me and that I should embrace not having to do anything. So one weekend..My friend, I would almost call her one of my best friends in church asked me to substitute in primary. Yuck, right? Teaching all week then on Sunday. Double yuck, right? I subbed...and I liked the spirit and reverance that the leaders brought into sharing time. The new classes with new teachers made a huge difference as well.

And...I actually enjoyed teaching them that I asked to teach the next week if they had not asked anyone to teach the class. Crazy...I know. Usually I run from primary or dodge phone calls from teachers needing a teacher...and  the teacher in me always sees the need for much improvement in the sharing time that it just leaves me bitter but I decided to just let it go and embrace the spirit..

Then my husband and I were asked to serve in that class..Yay! But the person that asked us said that he was hesitant because I worked with children all week. I was crushed because I knew in my head that was the reason and...my thoughts were why would you judge me or whats wrong with me? So now..I am going to put that behind me and focus on teaching and learning about the New Testament.