Why I was I so downtrodded this past week?

Lately I have been a roller coaster. Maybe it's the impending menopausal doom or just pmsing. I don't know and if it is ....heaven help those around me. Here is the trap that I am in. I go on Facebook (which is the reason for some of my doom)  to check out pictures and friends' statuses but it becomes one big nasty web of reading opinions, ads, and what-not. I am sick of it because it gives me feelings of anger, depression, and guilt. And that is with me lessening my time on it as well.  

1. Those that make uneducated opinions about public education. The whole common core standards, homeschooling is the key, and public education is crap. My thought here is if you are an educated adult in teacher education with at least 5 years experience in public education, then you are entitled to an opinion about pubic education/common core standards.  If you do not, then keep your uneducated opinion to yourself because it has no basis.

I have taken more classes than what is required for a teacher. I have been teaching for 12 years in two different states and  have been using standards as a guide for the last 12 years.  It's a guide not the curriculum. Curriculum is what you use to teach the students.  I seek out different types of curriculum. I am educated remember? I go to the internet, books, people, and other sources. I am not a dog chained to a tree as one would think that a teacher is chained to one book, one source, and one way/strategy to teach material.

2. I feel stress at work, home, and in between.Stay at home moms make me feel guilty for working. What is the point of that guilt? I need to let that go in my mind. My kids are school age. I take them to and from school. They do not have to ride a bus in the frigid mornings and hot afternoons. Yes, they might miss a chance to ride with their friends, but family is forever. Friends are just a small dot. I am their personal chauffeur. You know what that means? I can talk to them about things. We can sing primary songs on the way. Yes, we do!  I get additional time with my child all the way until it is time for them to head to their classroom. I can watch them play at recess through my windows, I know who they hang out, what they are doing in the classroom, how they are behaving, and much more. I can even eat lunch with my children.

It makes me sad that I don't get to be a part of the stay at home mom network in the church ward and yes, I always feel left out and that's my free agency to feel that way. But, it works both ways, ya know? I am never asked, called, or included in things. Again, it my choice to feel this way.  So that is what I was feeling last week.

As I was teaching students on how to become better teachers. We talked about the word inadequate or what scriptures we could to uplift someone that was feeling that way. I shared Ether 12:27 and it says,  “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” 

I think I am made strong to survive these weak things that go on in my head and around me. I am feeling better...really I am.



Comments

Ginger said…
I'm sorry you had a rough week Ang. I understand how you feel about the working mom thing. We are doing what's best for our family and that is the most important thing. Don't be hard on yourself for working. You are a great mom and it's totally okay that you are working. Heavenly Father knows your situation and if it isn't the right thing for you, the Holy Ghost would tell you... not other moms. I'm not a teacher, but I think you are a great one. I know how hard you work. I hope this week is better! Love ya!
Jessica said…
I'm glad you've posted some more! My refresh finger was tired :o) I am glad you are feeling better and more hopeful. I look up to you and think you are doing a great job.

I wanted to tell you how cute L. was in class last week. she knew ALL the answers and told us all about the Easter Bible movies she'd watched. She was a doll!

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